November 7-8, 2009 - Good night! Sleep tight! A sleeping baby is a beautiful sight!

Why is it that this beautifully perfect baby of mine slept like a champ in the hospital but when we come home he decides to party like it's 1999 throughout the wee hours of the night?!?

I know that I'm new at this mommy thing and that I may be super naive at times, however, I have had many friends and many dates with baby books that have told me all about what to expect those first few days/weeks at home so I had very realistic expectations of what this first night would be like. Hudson was fast asleep by 10pm and we tucked him into his little crib inside of our "Pack and Play" in our bedroom. (Within an arm's reach of course!) I think I must have stood over him just watching him breathe for at least 45 minutes before giving into my exhaustion. Just as my head hit the pillow it seemed as though Hudson heard me pull the covers up and the race was on. It wasn't "time" for him to eat again yet, so I just held him for a little while and sang to him before tucking him into his bed again. "You are my Sunshine" seemed to be a winner. By the time I had him back asleep and settled...20 minutes later it WAS time for him to eat again...and he certainly let me know about it! For such an amazingly calm, content, and laid back little guy...when he's hungry he MUST eat that very second and if I got up a few seconds before he even started to cry - that was even too long for him to wait! I picked him up to feed him and thought to myself as I looked down at this little face..."he's mine....really mine." I had a little night light in our room so that I could see him at any given time. I was so enthralled be this new little wonderful presence in our room that instead of sleeping when he slept...I "Oooed and Awwed" to myself watching him while he slept. At times he was so very quiet and peaceful that I couldn't help but place my hand on his little chest so that I could feel his heartbeat. As soon as I would do that then I was off on a thinking tangent - thinking about how this little miraculous being was just inside my belly just over 48 hours ago! This little nose, this little mouth, these little hands and feet....they were all right there for just me to feel and now I can actually see them. Talk about breathtaking - watching your baby sleep in your arms in the glow of the night light in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping...is simply life changing.

Despite my state of delirium and Hudson's frequent feedings (at times every 45 minutes) I was always excited to see his face and feel him in my arms. Truthfully, I didn't even mind the lack of sleep because that time together in the silence of the night were moments I knew I would cherish forever. Who needs sleep when a 7lb miracle wraps his whole hand around the top part of my pinky finger and looks into my eyes as if to say, "I know just who you are and I love you too." Looking at his face, I thought to myself, "the people who doubt there is a Heaven or a God must not have ever held a newborn baby in their arms and felt their tiny heartbeat." Only God in such a perfect place as Heaven could create something so very indescribably flawless .

Garrett slept like a champ. He woke up a few times to see if he could do anything or help and would fall right back to sleep. In fact, he slept so soundly that he snored so loudly that I ended up taking Hudson and Izzy out to the couch in the living room and the three of us slept for three hours! Three whole hours! I never thought that three hours of sleep would feel so much like a luxury! Time to begin a new day! The sun was coming up as I was feeding Hudson and I thought to myself..."well...we made it through the first night!"

It's official, I think the contestants on "Survivor" have nothing on a new mom who has just made it through the first night at home. In fact, not only should new moms receive a million dollars, but they should also have their own fan club, "I survived the first night" t-shirt line, and most importantly...an action figure modeled after us. If Mattel could go ahead and sculpt our action figures displaying a more "Barbie-esque" physique rather than the physique our precious ones leave us with two days after their arrival...I would really appreciate that.

With that said, I'll conclude with three thoughts: 1. All moms are superheros 2. I have a feeling there will be coffee in my future 3. I'm hoping that dark circles under the eyes will become the season's new "must have" accessory.

November 7, 2009 - Welcome Home Hudson

Yay! It's bringing home baby day!

Mom and Heather came to the hospital early today to help get us all packed up and ready to go home!

Garrett and Heather spent most of the morning making sure that the car seat was a-ok and in the right way. Garrett was so concerned that the base wasn't tight enough that he and Heather took it to the nearest fire station to double check.

In the meantime, the nurses went over all of the discharge papers with me and Hudson's pediatrician made another visit before we were ready to go home. She said that he was the picture of perfect baby health and that we would see her for his first appointment in a few days. I was mostly excited to put Hudson in his "going home" outfit! Here are some pictures from our adventure home!

So of course I cried the whole way home that day just thinking about how absolutely amazing it was that he was here. I think the overwhelming sense of "we're on our own now" also had something to do with the very "Days of Our Lives" style crocodile tears that drenched my very elastic , stretchy, and forgiving velor number.

I must have looked back into the back seat to check on him a gazillion times during the 15 minute ride home from the hospital. Hudson slept, I cried, and Garrett held my hand and reassured me that we ALL would be just fine.

We pulled into the driveway (with my mom and Heather in the car behind us) and saw lots of blue balloons! Heather video taped the arrival scene and Bubby and Izzy welcomed us into the house. We were so anxious to see Izzy and to see how she would react to her little brother! She was so excited to see us, especially her daddy! When we put Hudson's car seat on the floor for her to investigate, she gave Hudson a few little kisses on his face, licked his hands, and then went to get her frisbee out of her toy basket and laid it at Garrett's feet to play. I don't know what we were really expecting, but her very laid back approach to this very new arrival surprised us. I don't think she realized at the time just how permanent this new little guest was!

Overwhelmed and exhausted, I took a little nap while everyone else took turns holding Hudson. Garrett enjoyed just hanging out on the couch with him. Before I went to take a nap I looked out into the living room and saw Garrett and Hudson just hanging out on the couch (Izzy just had to sit on daddy's lap too!). I had a flash forward moment and envisioned that very same scene imagining Garrett and Hudson watching cartoons, football, baseball, and playing video games someday. With this thought, I knew it would seem as though Hudson would be growing at an unstoppable pace and I hoped that I wouldn't sleep too long in case I would miss Hudson "doing" something!

And so it begins...the Miller family was finally home...ALL 4 of us (Izzy included of course) and I was already worried about Hudson growing. Little did I know, time would truly would pass in a blink.

Our friend Kristi sent Izzy a wonderful "big sister" present! Izzy loooved her "big sister" shirt and was so upset when we took it off of her later that night. She was definitely very proud to wear it!

A little while after we got home Bubby and Pa and Pam brought Easton, Katie, and Charlie over to see Hudson for the first time. Easton was able to sneak in to see Hudson at the hospital, but the girls had to wait for us to come home! It was the sweetest thing ever to see them hold him after they had waited soooo long! I think it was a very special moment for Bubby and Pa to see all 4 of their grandchildren finally all together!

A special quiet moment with Pa and Hudson. I'm sure it felt like just yesterday that he was rocking Garrett. It's amazing to think that Garrett will one day be rocking Hudson's babies...oh sweet goodness.....need more tissues!



















After Bubby, Pa, and Pam took the kids back to their house it was time to get ready for our first bedtime with Hudson at our house. While my mom and I were getting things put away and ready for bed, Heather snatched up Hudson and knew she had to hide if she wanted a little quality time with him without Nana coming to steal him back! So she took Hudson and hit behind the curtains. In a matter of minutes Nana came looking for her little peanut. Heather's little feet sticking out from under the curtains gave her away and back to Nana Hudson went. Things were intense around here when Nana and Aunt Heather were trying to take turns patiently! lol



























Time to settle in for our first night at home as a family! Hmmmm wonder what the chances are of Hudson sleeping through the night?!?

November 6, 2009 - Party in Room 28

My first night as a mommy went really well! Even though I was emotionally and physically exhausted, I couldn't wait for Cassandra to bring Hudson in for his first feeding. I laid in my hospital bed just trying to take in everything that had happened. In the glow of the nightlights, I could see Garrett's sleeping silhouette, the outline of the stuffed animals on the windowsill, and the "Welcome Hudson" sign on the wall. My body felt so lifeless yet my brain and my heart were never so alive. As I tried to snuggle into my bed, it felt so strange to not have a big belly to rest my arms on. I actually tried to remember what it felt like to have Hudson kicking, rolling, and hiccuping in there! With those thoughts I must have fallen asleep because before I knew it I heard the opening of the door and Cassandra saying, "Your little cuddle-bug is here!" I sat straight up and couldn't wait to hold him again! I asked how he was doing with her in the nursery and she said that he was the best little snuggler ever. Of course he received some major VIP treatment as Cassandra kept him with her all night. Hudson had been making nightly rounds with her!


She lifted Hudson into my arms and told me that she would be back in a little while to get him. I remember looking down at him thinking how tiny he was and how surprised I was that this little 7lb 3oz peanut wasn't actually the 15lb bowling ball that he resembled in my belly!


Garrett really wanted me to wake him up each time Hudson came in to be fed but I didn't have the heart to wake him. He slept just like a....well...a baby.


He did wake up to find Hudson and I sleeping though. I fell asleep with him on my chest after our 6am nursing "date". Thankfully, I was clothed enough for Garrett to take these sweet pictures of us! I have learned many many things as a new mother...one of them is how modesty takes a vacation! There is NOTHING in this world like the feeling of your child sleeping on your chest. Their little breaths, soft warm skin, and little hands holding onto you is one of the greatest gifts I have ever known. The reality of a beautiful new life being completely dependent on you is both overwhelming and humbling and all together life changing.




















We had a wonderful day of visitors! Our family and friends were there bright and early to share in Hudson's first full day! I was super excited to take a shower! To my disappointment, the pregnancy weight fairy did not come during the night to take back what she had given me during the past 9 months! Although I like to joke about the extra "curves" every bit of the 32lbs I gained were a small price to pay for the miracle we had received...even though I was hoping that maybe at least 25lbs of it would be baby and would only have to worry about burning off the remaining 7lbs on the good ol' elliptical...no such luck.

Hudson was a very very popular little man as he was held by over 15 different visitors each day we were in the hospital. Heather and I had lots of fun dressing him in the different little onesies I had brought for him to wear. Even though they were newborn sizes, they seemed so big on him! They were super cute though, so fitting or not, he wore them!


I was so worried about Hudson scratching his face but I was too nervous to clip his nails myself so brave Aunt Heather stepped up to the plate and clipped them for us! Needless to say, they both survived, and Hudson still has his perfectly long TEN fingers and toes!









































Heather and Ann taking turns...nicely!











Kimmy came to spend some special time with Hudson!

























































Betsy and Ron came to visit! Betsy is the world's greatest baby "burrito" bundler!


November 5th was such a special day for so many reasons, but to add to the list our wonderful friends Josh and Sarah welcomed their little bundle of love too!! Baby Hudson and Baby Kaitlyn were born on the same day! (Refer back to the September 29th Blog!)


Saturday, October 5th


















and exactly one month later....November 5th...



















The new daddies had a really great conversation on the phone while we were in the hospital sharing new daddy stories. I think one of the greatest moments was when I could tell that they were both taking everything in as Garrett took in a deep breath while Josh did the same on the other line and were just quiet for a minute. Neither had to explain. Their silence said everything that words could never describe. We can't wait until little Miss Kaitlyn and little Mr. Hudson can meet for the first time!




The night of November 6th Garrett and I were treated to a "Stork Dinner" compliments of the hospital. We had a very "romantic" dinner for two in the maternity ward's sun room. We had a lovely steak and shrimp dinner complete with sparkling grape juice and chocolate cake. As sweet as it was to be all alone for the first time since we left our house, we must have eaten the whole dinner in less than 15 minutes because we were so eager to get back to our little guy. It was a surreal feeling looking across the table that night and trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we were actually parents....we were a special little guy's mommy and daddy! It had only been 24 hours and we already felt so lonely without Hudson around. I guess that's when you know you are finally a family....when someone who totally consumes your heart is not by your side. As cheesy as it sounds, Jerry McGuire said it best when he said, "You complete me." Hudson completes us.

These are pictures from our very "romantic" first dinner as Hudson's mommy and daddy!























Before we got ready for bed, I discovered that Hudson's pinky fingernail was still a little scratchy. I thought since Heather made it look so easy, maybe I could give the baby nail clippers a try myself. Hudson was fast asleep as I took his teeny tiny little finger and began to clip his incredibly small nail. Everything was going fine until I gently squeezed down on the clippers. At this moment, Hudson let out a heartbreaking yelp and began to cry. I looked closer only to find that I accidentally cut the tip of his little finger. It started to bleed and I started to panic. So much so that I had to hand Hudson over to Garrett in fear that I just may pass out. Hudson had cried only for a few seconds before going back to sleep but I felt so horrible that I thought we better have a nurse look at what I had done. As silly as it sounds, the guilt of hurting him was nearly suffocating for me! We buzzed the nurses station and explained what had happened. Cassandra came down to look at his little finger and smiled as she said, "This happens all the time. I'm sure he has forgiven you already."



Well on that note, I couldn't help but think about all of the countless scraped knees and the bumps and bruises he will one day have. I better start preparing myself now!


We turned down the lights in our room and climbed into the hospital bed...all three of us!


It was the most amazing feeling ever. Snuggled as a family...watching Garrett effortlessly become the "daddy" I always knew he would be. I had dreamed of taking a picture like this of my boys for such a long time. I had our camera on the side table just in case the opportunity should present itself. It wasn't too long after we said our prayers and kissed goodnight when I turned and saw this.

November 5, 2009 - Happy Birthday Hudson

A little "photo album" of some of our favorite pictures from Hudson's Birthday! The pictures really speak for themselves! xox